>Dating in another language, or, how to not be funny.

14 Nov

Sometimes I think I’m funny. You know, in my own head. Often I make the mistake of saying my funny thoughts out loud and they are met by blank stares. The Pirate thinks I am very funny. Laughing at me and laughing with me are two different things, but I don’t want to split hairs.

I’ve been butchering learning French for eight months and still can’t crack a joke or successfully use sarcasm. I don’t pick up on it when it’s coming my way either. It’s kind of a drag, but then again, maybe people just aren’t funny here. I don’t know, I mean, living in Guadeloupe requires a certain level of humor just to not strangle someone every time the internet goes out. (read: a few times a day.)

The Pirate is a clever little bugger. He speaks four languages fluently. Ain’t that a bitch when you’re in Puerto Rico together and this sexy little thing comes up and they can just Espanol away, while I stand there hoping they’re not planning their getaway right under my inferior bilingual nose. He wouldn’t do that though, because clearly, I rock. I mean, I have a blog.
So, since The Pirate speaks English better than many native speakers I know, I talk at a pretty fast clip with him, at my normal pace. Now, I hail from the northeastern US, so really it’s pretty fast. We joke around a lot. But from time to time, I crack a great joke that just ….passes him in both lanes. Whooosh! Not because he doesn’t get it, but because I spoke too fast while not looking at him, or while my mouth was full of food, the latter being more likely. So it will go something like this:

Moi:”(insert incredibly clever thing to say here, based on context)”
Moi:”(repeat incredibly clever thing a bit louder)”
Pirate:”Whu…wait…because he did that then it’s a what…?”
Moi:”(Insert half of incredibly clever thing, slower, with half the enthusiasm, and half smile. I’m not laughing anymore)”
Pirate:”Ohhhh..wait…what was the last part again?”
Moi:”(Incredibly clever thing. Slowly. No smile. I feel stupid now because I’ve been forced to repeat my clever thing so many times that now it doesn’t appear so clever. I swear I hear that music that plays on tv when jokes fail: wuh wuh wuh wuuuuuhhhhh)”
Pirate: laughs….explains that he understands, only, he has mistaken some word or reference for something else entirely, but somehow it’s still funny for him.
Me:”GAWD! Forget it!!”

Talk about lost in translation! Not to mention what a total witch I am! When this happens in reverse, I must confess that The Pirate somehow STILL makes me laugh even though I’m not getting the joke. He’s so clever.


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