Lesson W for worms

15 Jun

Disgusting. Alien. Frightened. Host-like. Not at all hungry.

A few bits to describe how I feel knowing this: I have worms.

Let’s leave out the information on how it is one realizes one has worms and carry on to the disgusting rest of it. In spite of my temper tantrum/flat-out panic, “Omygodomygodomygod..I’m like an ALIEN! I wanna go to the hospital. What do I do? Omygodomygod!” Pirate looks at me, muffling hysterical laughter at the fragile un-tropicalized American suburban girl, “Mais, tu fais une crise pour rien..”

A crisis. Yes. I consider this a crisis, for I have worms and I am neither a domesticated nor a farm animal. Et merde. As if D for Dengue  wasn’t enough to get me to turn my cart around and hop the next flight back to the safety of better-known-to me ailments in suburbia, (common cold, flu, bronchitis, poison ivy perhaps) this might just be my breaking point. Dramatic I know but seriously, worms? It’s a parasite for heaven’s sake. I, Girl in Guadeloupe, am a parasitic host. How’s that for hospitality? Can’t say I haven’t become one with the local culture now, can we? I’m literally connected to it, or it is connected to me, or whatever, I’m making myself nauseous again.
Solution to most things, a la pharmacie. Pharmacist doesn’t even bat an eye or commiserate with me even a tiny bit. I had that brief tv-like moment where I imagined the reception I would get: “Mais Madame, quelle horreur! Les vers! Tsktsktsk, asseyez-vous, asseyez-vous, mon dieu, mon dieu…”

Yeah, not so much. Medicine in the bag, two in the morning two in the evening, bla bla bla, and here I sit sharing the wonder of worms with who knows who.  I feel better already.*Apparently this is really very common here, and kids get them all the time. Petit Monstre had them last year and I admit it, I was afraid to touch him. Poor little host. Well, we can bond on that topic, right? Bleuchhhhh


2 Responses to “Lesson W for worms”

  1. Linda Massie June 16, 2011 at 20:44 #

    Okay, this ends my green faced envy of your adventure. Here I thought you were living in Paradise, but I guess no such thing exists on our great planet earth. I will remember this when the snow again flies and I am cursing the Northeast.

  2. Kari June 16, 2011 at 11:43 #

    Well, well, well…. Welcome to the parasitic hosts club…lol
    I will forever carry my own little parasite affecionately known as toxoplasma gondii, just saying it makes me feel gross and invaded. So far i’ve had dengue and toxo, maybe i can hit the trifecta with worms before i go back to my good ole USA?? 😉
    I feel ya babes..ohhhh i doooo

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