Two MONTHS…and a housewife.

22 Jul

Wow two months have gone by since my last post. That means that for two months I’ve been saying, “tomorrow I’ll write”.  Clearly, not a great approach. So here’s the excuse: I married the Pirate, we moved into a home we built, and we’ve been pretty much busy with happy yet exhausting stuff like that for a few months now. I’m typing this looking out at a huge muddy pit we call our garden. The birds are eating the grass seeds. The dog is tracking mud into the house constantly, laughing in my face as she tears by me at 100km/hour, paws packed with mud and poop, from mud-pit-yard to deck through living room to deck and back  to replenish her mud and poop supply in the mud-pit-yard. Grrrrrrrr

So now I’m officialement a housewife. Yep. That’s me. I’m in a house. Most of the time. And, I’m a wife.  We’ve planted some things in an attempt to produce some morsels of food for ourselves – banana trees, coconut trees, avocado tree, and on a smaller scale, tomatoes, basil, zucchini, lime tree. I’d love to eat from the garden but I’m fairly certain we won’t see anything from the fruit trees because we might not be here that long. It seems Mamman, les Monstres’s mom, is feeling like moving back to mainland France in a year or so. In a nutshell we’ll follow them. Pirate isn’t too keen on being a vacation dad. I get it, and I’m down with that.

So I guess I’ll have to take advantage of this rough around the edges place until I can’t any more!  Suddenly a teeny tiny bit of the bitterness I feel here slides away. Bitter? Yeah. Notice I have a category named ‘Bitter is better’. I’m not going to lie, it’s been a beautiful difficult learning experience here in Gwada. It’s not really an easy place to adapt to, at least that’s what I’ve found. It’s not so much the language, but the culture. I find it…..tough. Closed.  Many people I’ve spoken with have decided what it’s like in the states and have zero desire to go there. And their decision seems to be based on what they learn of the states in the news, movies, and from their friends. They’re afraid of racism. Fair enough. But is racism really limited to the states? And what does that have to do with me? Well, I come from there. So I’m included in this idea of something they really don’t care for. It doesn’t really matter, I mean, I’m ok if everyone doesn’t become my friend, or I can’t convince them that the states has a lot to offer. Still….
I have been blessed to have met really nice people here. I’ve learned that when I find a kind shop owner that I should stick with that shop. Closes my world perhaps even more but hey, the negative experiences I’ve had with certain people, I just don’t need to repeat them. It ruins my day. I’ve realized that I can accept a culture as it is but I don’t have to like it. And I don’t always like it. I’ve learned to tell the difference between a difference in culture where (from the other person’s view) it’s not rude, , and when there really is rudeness. That helps a lot.

I must admit, the quality of daily life is nice. The sea all year, the sun, the plants, the calm pace. But I miss more culture. I miss changing art exhibits. I miss a nice movie theater. I miss nightlife. I miss feeling like the people around me are interested in things outside of their personal bubble. So, while sticking to my self promise to take advantage of the limited time I’ll have here, I’m also happily looking forward to the future.

gazing out on the mudpit

Sure, make like you didn’t do anything.

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2 Responses to “Two MONTHS…and a housewife.”

  1. Allen July 23, 2012 at 02:42 #

    Well, that really is great news! The marriage bit, that is. Congratulations! 🙂

    The other bits… well, personally, I’m really sorry to learn how you feel about what ‘has been’ on Gwada. Let’s hope that with your new beginning comes all the happiness and satisfaction you desire.

    People can be funny – anywhere. I’ve met a few Americans who haven’t treated me with respect simply because they have seen that I live in France and assume that I’m French. Quite a few of them have this bee in their bonnet about the French during WWII. I just wish that I could drag them to the ceremony in the village each 8th June, where remembrance takes place for all those local children who were burned alive by the retreating Gestapo, and, too, hear the stories told by the few remaining resistance fighters. They don’t know their even born!

    The French, bless ’em, have their foibles – as have every nationality, I think. When I come across the kind of thing you have experienced, it can be very disconcerting. When push comes to shove we all have to live with one another on this planet, and the sooner we realise that to do it in harmony the better place the world will be.

    Please don’t leave it another two months before your conscience makes you pick up your pen and write. 😉

    • Girl in Guadeloupe July 26, 2012 at 12:51 #

      Thanks, Allen! yeah I know, I sound awfully bitter. I guess I just want to tell my truth. I find it’s more of the local caribbean culture that gets me than the French culture, but perhaps it’s the two layered on top of each other. The laissez-faire along with the ‘it’s way too hot to work’ (which is absolutely true, by the way). It is strange times, feeling oddly happy and yet also kind of disconnected in this place after three years. THAT bothers me. It must be said though, that it could be entirely my fault! We’ll see. I’m furiously making lists which is usually a good sign of productive activity looming not far ahead so I’ll keep at it! I would be interested to hear more about your experiences in France and more about the reactions from folks ‘back home’ regarding your life there…

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